Top Secret Bullshit

TSBS Special:
State of the Pectorals Edition

Well fans of my Tumblr (like all 6 of you), I am pleased to announce that my grand experiment of 2003 has been finally shut down.

If you don’t recall, in 03 I unwisely formed a hypothesis that it would be nigh-impossible for me to be overweight. Not even joking. No sarcasm, no meta satire zaniness. I seriously wondered what if I had what it took to be overweight. Even slightly. Just because I was bored.

Thus began the Ribeye diet. The pizza diet. And of course, my favorite,the burrito and extra sleeping diet. Ask anyone from the Athens era, I honestly did these.

Around this time I also “mastered” slamming/chugging alcohol of any variety. Hubris thy name is being 22.

Shockingly my hypothesis was proven incorrect and my efforts paid off…got a bit tubby. Nothing crazy just a lil bit.

Then the experiment got out of control like the Weapon X program and created a monster that could not be reigned in.

Until now. I’ve stopped slamming Guinness in seconds and also started choosing to forego eating my daily cheesecake and giant burrito combo.

I will be bringing shirtlessness back with the shamelessness of a self shot mySpace bathroom mirror profile pic that belies an insatiable need for external validation.

Should be good to go by July.